GOTHAM CONSENSUS(Positive Consensus/Bear Market Indicator) Everything is awesome!

April 30, 2015

Many have proclaimed the centre of the universe to be New York City and the surrounding Tri-State boroughs. Most of our economic, social, and popular culture mores can often be traced to what’s going down in Metropolis. So what are the villagers, especially those in the upper echelon/Mr. Drummond scene up to as they rear the next generation? How have they coped with up righting themselves from the 2008-09 financial crisis? Apparently pretty well. Here’s three little anecdotes.

Development programs comes to nannies

Good help is hard to find for the uber rich. They have apparently come to grips with this and are willing to invest in some development programs to get their lowly paid nanny(ies) up to speed. One such person is Park Avenue fixture Jill Wilpon who has organized such a program.

“Servants to the wealthy can be sent next Sunday from 1 to 6 p.m. to Park Avenue mom Jill Wilpon’s Chorz housekeeping camp — where lessons include “table setting,” “understanding the workings of a Manhattan building,” “how to work your Cres-tron” home automation system or “load your washing machine” and even “keeping the best linen closet.”

People tell us, ‘My housekeeper doesn’t even know how to set a table,’ ” explains Wilpon, whose father-in-law is Ken Wilpon, the developer cousin of Mets co-owner Fred. “A lot of [housekeeper] candidates say they know how to do things,” but “they don’t know the difference between convection bake or broil.”

Even worse, nannies “from Tibet or Nepal don’t understand the infrastructure of a building. They don’t understand that a doorman will help you with a taxi.” Many can’t use Uber, she said.

Wilpon, the Ivy League-educated founder of staffing service Chorz, whose “majority of clients” live on Park or Fifth avenues, will offer about eight slots per Sunday at her camp at $150 apiece.

“You’ll ask someone, ‘Do you know about fine finishes?’ ” says Wilpon, “and they’ll say, ‘Yeah, we use Endust.’ Endust is from the 1970s!” Today, it’s all about “green clean” products. And there can be “glaring weaknesses” in maids’ routines. Some do not know the difference between “a paring knife and a regular knife.” Ouch!

No word if the employers are footing the bill for this or if the nannies are on their own.

Can’t keep your kids busy? Outsource it VIP style.

As parents we are always struggling for ways to keep the kids engaged and occupied. We’re always looking for “positive experiences” to mold our kids.  In New York, a concierge service has popped up to taking the thinking off your hands.

“…when the mother of four needed to shuttle her little guy around NYC in March, she hired a “playdate valet” — a white-gloved butler — who comes with his own chauffeur and a luxury SUV.

“It sounds over-the-top, but it’s so sweet,” she says.

“I plan to keep using it. It’s not cheap, but trusting somebody with your child shouldn’t be cheap.”

The “playdate valet” is just one of many luxury perks now being offered to city children as part of Red Carpet Kids Concierge — a new offshoot of the popular party service.

And with its jaw-dropping array of extravagant services, it’s taking the outsourcing of traditional parental responsibilities to new, luxurious heights.

Well-heeled parents looking to spoil their spawn can hire a pair of gussied-up fairies to read curated bedtime stories ($350 an hour), a zoologist to host an “educational safari” at the Bronx or Central Park zoos ($1,500 to $7,500) and runway consultants for a “Fashion Week experience” where junior fashionistas walk in a staged fashion show ($4,000).

Over the holidays, Upper East Side mom Christina Johnson hired a pair of 20-something “fairy-tale fairies” to read to her two young daughters — Irene, 7, and Helen, 5 — who were holding court in a sleepover with a few friends.

One family from the United Arab Emirates ponied up $50,000 a year to keep the company on retainer. Last summer, they rented a luxury charter yacht so that their son — who was obsessed with pirates — could play Jack Sparrow of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies.

There was even a mock attack staged by smaller vessels with well-trained actors in full pirate regalia — peg legs, gold teeth and “arr matey” lingo were all part of the package deal — as well as a private chef on the yacht.

Guest Speakers For Bar Mitzvah’s

It’s not enough just to go through the motions of celebrating a Bar Mitzvah. You need some guest speakers or in New York, entertainment. Witness this tweet from a lad who’s parent ponied up cash to have Nikki Minaj appear (no word if she actually performed) at his bar mitzvah. As the picture shows, it wouldn’t have matter if she performed anyway.

So worries of Greece leaving Euroland, strife in the Middle East, and tepid economic growth just don’t seem to get enough traction in the Gotham these days. A surging stock market and IPO market have returned New York to Gatsby’esque times. Is doesn’t hurt to have interest rates near zero to keep those credit lines humming to bankroll some of these staples of life. Times are tough but it seems the Park Avenue crowd is adjusting well to the New Normal and don’t seem to be too concerned that one day the music will stop and the credit lines will dry up. It’s about the children.